Life has been absolutely interesting, abide a chore sometimes, I must say. Each time, I learn so much, experience so much, and then I live again. Well, the last transition of which I dearly miss is that from Safra on the first week on this month, 6th Jan to be exact, to... -drum rolls- YES back to school. Oh well. I cannot deny that school started off with a bang. Oh yes, a bang of the bag of tired emotions. The days of content rushing by my mind during the first week of school. And yupp, the occasional dozing off bcos of monotonous droning voices of our tutors hahaha. oh well, so I'm in the sports council. Apparently, so much for it being slacker. Apparently it isn't. I've been roped in to help out in this year's orientation but let me tell you something. I have a dislike for extremely immature people. The ones who jam up bus ways, refuse to lower their volume, run about places kind. yepp. hopefully MI has none of that sort. oh god, imagine being in charge of a group of 20 over or 30over? when I could be studying and preparing for my common tests/ thanks a lot, really. Oh well at least I get to see... hehe:P
I never expected to be feeling something as right as tho. hell it even felt like a few years before when everything was awesomely right, just that now's better. yet I cannot stop feeling that i shouldtn have been so restrictive, but i can't. although it feels more right now then never, than before.hopefully its for eternity. And 2012 is a year of changes. I must say I met an awesome group of Safra colleagues and they're the best bunch of awesome ppl you can ever wish for. I am well aware of how random this paragraph is, but too bad:P oh well there were bad news as well, in terms of my bro, but its ok, we shall get over it. and mr lee is now tutoring my bro~ hahaha
So I'm in a mentoring program whereby we've gotta pick any teacher or staff in MI to be our mentor. and yay Ms Huang agreed! sooo yupp. haha oh yes. The part about the guilt trip talk. I am the type of person who is soft hearted. LOL yes. I actually am. -do not roll your eyes at this- hahaha but well, I was just thinking, with so much more commitments like that of pre university seminar as student liaison officer (SLO) and orientation group leader (OGL) for orientation, and the normal council duties... and the additional PW this year... how the hell am I gonna cope? I mean I may seem to be able to but I struggle a hell lot. and throughout it all, I ask myself why the heck am i getting mediocre grades just cos I sacrifice time or the school? No one's perfect. No one's infallible, no one's super strong.
No matter how much i keep telling myself that my will MUST supersede my limits, no matter how much I set goals for myself, how much I try to tell myself i can do it, I must do it, I cannot disappoint anyone or myself anymore, it never seems to really work. It seems as with everyone's going places while I'm still stuck in transit. This isn't meant to be emo. Its just what I really really truly feel, and so does my friend Jerald. Its funny how the two of us can think the same, score the same grades, don't have na atitde problem, put in damn lot effort, yet receive results that are not proportional to our efforts. We have, at many times examined our study habits, doubted ourselves, and then again came to an understanding that maybe this isn't the best for us but there isn't a choice cos the careers that we want can only be best attained by this route.
It kinda seems unfair isn't it? Life, that is. But then again, it was never fair to begin with. We all have our stage of victories, our stages when we falter, and needed someone to hold us by our arms and keep us walking forward. But then again, how often is that? You see, we all have our past, a set of values, what we've gone thorugh- our set of weaknesses and strengths Resilience alone, doesn't not triumph and nor does talent alone, most of the time. I thought that by compensating for the previous lack of understanding ith long durations of time spent on our subjects, we can do damn well, but apparently not. we scraped through.
Nevertheless, I shall not give up. we shall all not give up. It is only through the strongest and toughest conditions that real champions are made and glorified. Yes, we shall not be moved.
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